the guys i race with often talk about how no car, no matter how heavily modded, is any good without the "good driver modification"

 

I had nothing to do, so I was looking around for storys about stupid people for something to do. figured this one fit.

I was 18 and in the Air Force, and had just bought my first car. It was at Fairchild AFB, near Spokane, Washington, and the car was a 1955 Oldsmobile. I had paid $50.00 for it. My buddy and I decided to take it for a drive over to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Nearing the city, we heard a "chop...chop...chop" sound. We parked at a restaurant and shut the car off. Went inside to eat, and then returned to the car. The car would not start. I raised the hood, and my buddy and I, (both of us REALY STUPID!) just stood there looking at the engine, not knowing a thing about cars. A man came up to see if we needed help. He told us that my battery was gone. Apparently, it was not tied or bolted down and it fell into my fan blades. Well, this man put his battery in my car to get it started and then took it out. He told us that when we get back to Spokane, to go buy a battery. Well, we drove all the way back to Spokane, and stopped in a gas station and bought a battery, ($19.95 in 1971). Well, we put that battery in, and as we went around the cloverleaf onramp to get back on the freeway, we heard, "chop..chop..chop."

 

how did it run without a battery in the car?

 

on older cars with out computers (and maybe computerized ones to, not sure though) the battery is only needed to turn the starter. after that, the alternator is supposed to provide the juice for the electrical system. A lot of early cars airplanes and all lawn mower engines with a recoil start do not have an electrical system. instead they are started by hand, no battery needed ever. On old six volt systems, the car can be started with a twelve volt battery if you don't have a six volt. you have to pull the battery right away though or it will overload the electrical system. (I have seen this done with an old oliver tractor)

on my 92' Saab I have had the battery so dead that it reset the radio, but I was able to pushstart the car and it ran fine untill I had to stop.

here are two more storys (from the internet)

I used to vacation with a few friends at a cottage in northern Ontario. The morning of this particular tale we set off at about 8 a.m.; four of us traveling in our own cars, loaded up with the necessary baggage and food for our stay. Three of us arrive at the cottage at about the same time, having made the trip in just over an hour and a half, but our friend Gus is conspicuously missing. Just after noon he rolls up in his shiny new point-of-pride, a CRX.

He casually gets out of his car to a round of questions, everyone wanting to know what'd taken him so long.

He replies "What do you expect, guys, this is a brand new car," which we're apparently supposed to take as sufficient explanation. Of course we ask him to elaborate; so he obliges....

"No, I didn't stop for anything, I just drove slower." Why? "Well, you know that if you drive slower you'll put less mileage on your car, don't you?"

Yes, folks, he *was* serious, and was even offended at our doubting his radical speed/distance theory. He went on to explain, exasperated at our stupidity in the face of reason, "When you're driving, just look at your odometer, first when you're driving around town, and then look at it again when you're on the highway. You've gotta notice that the odometer rolls a hell of a lot faster when you're go'n' 60 or 70 m.p.h."

It took us hours to convince him that he was not saving any mileage driving slower. We needed maps, rulers, calculators -- it took every resource we could pool, even a demonstration, to make him believe us. But I still think Gus is out there, somewhere, driving around at half the speed limit....

Number two:


Being a car nut, people often come to me to ask my opinion on an upcoming purchase. One day, someone asked me about radar detectors. In about an hour, I explained all the intricacies of how they worked etc. He finally decided to go after the best and spend about $400 on it. About a month later I met up with him and he was pretty mad. It seemed that he had received 3 speeding tickets since he got the detector. Here is the conversation:

ME: Did the thing beep?
HIM: Yea it beeped a lot.
ME: Was it adequate warning? About how long did the thing beep for 'till you saw the patrol car?
HIM: About 30 seconds.
ME: 30 SECONDS? How quickly did you slow down?
HIM: Slow down?
ME: Yea, didn't you try to slow down?
HIM: Why? Doesn't that thing make the cops not see me?
ME: Uhh.... Oops I'm late for class can we finish this off later?

DOH!!! That's an hour in my life I'll never get back. Boy, these people shouldn't be allowed in public let alone behind the wheel of 3000 pounds of steel.

BTW, is this the only thread on the forum that is going anywhere?

 

the cops not see me..i wish...lol

 

The best thing I ever saw was when the guys behind my house were building a new house and they brought in those cement trucks to pour the foundation...now those things have got to weigh something fierce because the one drove round behind the place and promptly sank up to it's axles in mud...so the company sends out another truck, I figure presumably to pour the foundation while the other is getting towed out...but no, they sent a loaded one to pull the other one out...only problem is while they were puttin the chains on, it too sank up to its axles, so now there are 2 fully loaded cement trucks sunk up to their axles...and a third comes around...well he being the brains of the operation pours the foundation, hooks up a chain from aways away and pulls one of em out...then together they pull the third out...but it was like a 3 Stooges episode for about an hour just watchin the idiots work...hehehe

 

Morris, an 82 year old man, went to his doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris & said "you're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied "Just doin' what you said, Doc : 'Get a hot momma & be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said 'You've got a heart murmer, be careful'".

 

Well, if I were to go out, that's the way I'd do it

 

True story.....

Right after I bought my 77 LTD II (351W\FMX) I had a guy bet me 50 bucks his intrepid could drag it *** backwards across the parking lot....

Got a big ol logging chain, pulled it taunt.....while my Torquey old 351 sat down in a nice low rumble about half throttle and pulled his intrepid sqeeling the front tires across the parking lot.

later,
Dustin

 

he was a moron then...lol

any FWD car would be at a disadvantage...im surprised that you didnt tear it in half!