2008 escape issue escapes me
 

My 2008 escape is experiencing something I
have never seen before. I start it up and if I try
to put it into gear, the windshield washer
motor runs and the car shuts down. Same
thing happens if I am in park and I turn my
headlights on (washers motor starts and
engine dies). In what world are those things
connected? The only way I can move the car
is to put it in neutral with car off, remove the
brake shift interlock fuse and I can drive,
however, I have no power to windows, signals
or 4 way flashers (not even sure of brake lights
at that point. Any suggestions where to start
looking??

You are not alone !
Usually when we get a load of unrelated problems a poor ground connection can be the cause. The object , of course, is to find it .
What can sometimes be happening is one circuit has either a poor or no ground to complete the circuit so things can work. Electricity has a way of seeking a ground any place it can . When it does, it uses that circuit, and in the process it also provides power to that circuit and even though not selected, that circuit begins to operate.
The poor ground connection can many times be pinned down with the use of an electrical diagram, (schematic)..Without that info, the next best thing is to check and clean all the grounds you can see and find. Sometimes you are successful and sometimes not. That is where the "Expert" comes to the rescue.

Agreed with Hanky - a loss of a ground can cause some strange backfeeding through seemingly unrelated circuits. Some other possibilities are shorts within harnesses or components themselves. Best case scenario is you will find a visibly melted or damaged harness, or broken wire.

If you are otherwise coming up empty, I would like to recommend DTC Assist. It's made for situations like these, electrical gremlins without any obvious or known cause. We will do the research and find the links between these different components and circuit paths, then lay out a plan for you to do some basic electrical testing and pinpoint the issue. It's a great option before you hand it off to the dealer or start replacing expensive parts. See the link in my signature.