Bra Shopping...
 

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied, "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple; the Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen. The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

[8D]

~Amanda

Hey. Recently I was thinking about buying a thigh garter. The main purpose is to emphasize your beauty and self-confidence. Therefore, thigh garter should appeal to the rest of the accessories of your lingerie and ladies' toilet. The underwear in the complex should be combined in color and should be in harmony with the color of outerwear: dresses, skirts, and your image in general. This does not mean that everything should be monochrome, each color has an abyss of shades and can be combined with other colors. I decided to buy thigh garter on MarieMur.com. What do you think?

Hi Amanda,
Been a long time since we heard from you, hope all is well and hopefully a Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone !
hanky

Don't forget the older gentleman that received a phone call from his wife cautioning him to be careful since she just heard on the radio of a car going the wrong way on the freeway. He anxiously replied, "One,, there are hundreds of them !".

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were all lost in the desert. After walking along for a while they eventually found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.

The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was transported back home.

The brunette wished to be back at home with her family. Poof! She was magically transported back home.

The blonde then says "Aww, I wish my friends were here".

Doctor: "How can I help you today?"

Blonde: "It hurts right here, OUCH" she says as she points to her shoulder

Doctor: "Ok, Does it hurt elsewhere on you?"

Blonde: "It sure does, on my leg here, OUCH" she says as she points to her leg.

Doctor: "I see, does it hurt in any other places?"

Blonde: "Sure does. On my back right here, OUCH." she cries as she points to her back.

Doctor: "Are you actually a blonde that dyed her her brown?"

Blonde: "Yes! How on earth did you know?"

Doctor: "Well, you have actually got a broken finger."

A blonde lady is driving down the highway at lightning speed in her new sports car when a traffic officer pulls her over. The traffic officer is also a blonde woman.

The blonde officer approaches the blonde lady's car and requests to see her drivers license. The lady starts searching high and low for her license and become extremely frustrated until finally she asks "what does the license look like?"

The blonde officer replies "it is a rectangle and has a picture of you on it".

The blonde lady finally pulls out a compact mirror from her purse and hands it to the officer, "I think I found it" she says as she hands the mirror over.

The blonde officer takes a quick look at the mirror and replies "I'm ever so sorry, I didn't know that you were a traffic officer too" and lets the lady go.

I'm not gonna ask if Amanda is a Blond Just Joking about Hot Blonds

Geesh Guys lets give the blonds a break!


A blond was in the store trying on some bra's and panties when everything went quite!
she ran up to the counter and screamed for the teller to call 911 as she just went deaf.
An hour later the ER tec finally said "ummm you seem to be able to hear just fine! But next time ....would you mind going into the dressing room before changing?"!

A blond was taking a shower at a public bath and was offended as to why everyone was staring and laughing at her.
When it stopped raining she air dried on the sidewalk to enhance her tan!

Why do blonds take off their bra and smile every time the lightening flashes?
They think someone is taking their picture!

why cant blond count past 5?
They loose count because they cant touch their other fingers.

Why cant blonds use their toes to count?
The light on the bed room ceiling blinds them....... Either that or the light is off.

A blond was sitting in her car and noticed some blood so she ever so casually slipped in a tampon so no one would notice. When she stood up outside the car to go to the bathroom and clean up, she fell over dead.
After the tampon was removed the Corners Autopsy noted the gunshot to the head is what killed her.

Hope some of these are not over the line!

To grow toilet paper all you got to do is save the Cardboard center. You can even shape it to fit where needed while growing.

There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car...

The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?"

The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in."

The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?"

The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger."

The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."

Moses is walking down the street when he bumped into former POTUS George W. Bush.
“Hello,” Bush said. “Nice weather we’re having, huh?”
Moses took one look at the former POTUS, turned, and ran in the other direction.

The following day Moses is again walking down the same street and there was Bush and again the former POTUS tried to initiate a conversation.
Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed.
When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, “The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.”

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the Huron River Breast Stroke Championships.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second.
However, there was no sign of the final contestant.
Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry.
Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her.
They embraced the young girl as she came ashore.
After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered,
I hate to be a sore loser, but I think those other girls used their arms." :D

A blond is standing in front of the Coffee machine.
She is talking, saying things.
The Blond says, "you are ugly and small"
"you are soon to be replaced by a better model"
Her girlfriend sees her thinking she is talking with herself ?
Her friend asks her, What U doing"?
The Blond responds, "the sigh reads depress button"
"U think, we got to go bra shopping soon !"

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench…

One blonde says to the other,
"Which do you think is farther away,
Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde says,
"Well, you can't see Florida…"
"and we got to go bra shopping soon"!

A blind man walks into a bar. He sits down and says,
"Who wants to hear some blonde jokes?"

The waitress says "I'm blonde!
And my coworker is blonde, too.
Also, the lady sitting next to you is blonde as well.
Are you sure you want to tell them?"

The blind guy says "No, I guess not.
I don't want to have to explain it three times."

At a small club in the Midwest a ventriloquist is doing his show,
which includes a whole stream of jokes about blonde stupidity.

After about a dozen blonde jokes,
a blonde woman yells out, “That’s it.
I’ve had enough of your cheesy comedy.
I’m tired of being stereotyped by lousy comedians like you.
All you can do is make fun of people’s appearance.
What does someone’s looks have to do with her worth?
I’m fed up with being laughed at because of the color of my hair,
and people at work thinking I’m stupid
because idiots like you perpetuate a hurtful, denigrating stereotype.
You’re an insult to women everywhere.”

The room is silent for a minute,
then the entertainer tries to explain.

But before he can get two words out, the blonde says,
“Shut up, mister.
This is between me and that midget on your lap.”

A blind singer man and a Pro Golfer are in a bar.
The Pro turns to the Singer and says, "How is the singing career going?"
The Singer says, "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10,
so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how is the golf."
The Pro replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I'm still making a bit of money.
I have some problems with my swing but I think I've got that right now."
"I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it,
then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says the Blind Singer
"You play golf!?" asks the Pro and the blind Singer says, "Yes, I have been playing for years."
"But I thought you were blind; how can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks. "
I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me.
I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him,
then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie.
"But how do you putt?" Jack wondered. "Well," says Stevie,
"I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice."
Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?"
"Well, I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack.
Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole."
Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?"
"I don't care - any night next week is OK with me."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for...
it is about time you became informed:

A ... Almost Boobs
B ... Barely there.
C ... Can't Complain!
D ... Damn!
DD... Double damn!
E ... Enormous!
F ... Fake

Two aliens land at a deserted gas station. They climb out of their space ship and all they can see is a gas pump.
The first alien looks right at the gas pump and says “Take me to your leader”.
Not surprisingly the gas pump says nothing.
The alien repeats “Take me to you leader or I’ll shoot”. Again, no response from the gas pump.
The second alien warns his friend that this is a bad idea.
Frustrated the first alien says “Last chance, take me to you leader before I shoot.”
His friend warns more strongly that this is a bad idea.
Having lost his patience, the first alien pulls out his blaster and shoots the gas pump.
There is a huge explosion and the two of them go flying through the air lading 100 feet away.
As they’re laying on the ground the first alien looks at the other and says “How did you know that was a bad idea?”
His friend replied, “Any guy who can take his Penis, wrap it around his head,
and then shove it in his ear is a Really-Really bad SOB !”

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.

The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.

The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes.
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day,
some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
“I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes.
I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do.
I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the guys, of course, said,
“I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”
“N,” she answered.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.for...316f252cc1.png
Kinda hard carrying/dragging the heavy bags to the car this morning.

In the 60's today very sunny and the women have gone shopping
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