They found no Money, Bonds, Diamonds or an ounce of gold. Instead,
the safe contained covered bowls of pudding.
SO THEY ATE THE PUDDING.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more
than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

THE MORNING NEWSPAPER HEADLINE.....
SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.

 

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor
yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons;

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections;

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a
"Penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?

Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets??
Why didn't most of them jump out and save themselves????

 

Why is there a stairway to Heaven, yet, a highway to Hell?

 

after lock washers and Loctite comes the answer!

 

You know the old saying the Girls look beautiful at closing?
Well one night I's at my Bar and this hot Red Head walks up to me
and says, is it true that men with really big boots are also well endowed?
I invited her to my place to find out. The next morning, she left me $200 with the
Card. Get a pair of Boots that fit Cowboy.

 

Two Dogs meet at the fire hydrant.