Ok at 87 and 86 both is getting 12.56V
will not crank when relay is back in
starter turns over with jumper from battery to 87 without relay

 

How about the bench test, did you get the same voltage on terminal 87 and 30 when the relay is energized?
Another new test, remove the relay, test resistance on terminal 30 with battery positive post.

 

Getting same Voltage on 87 and 30 when energized
Getting 1.1 ohms on 30

 

Unplug the starter relay, check the female side of the starter relay socket underneath, you might have bad terminal or bad or loose connection somewhere, check all 4 (85, 86, 87 and 30), especially on 30 and 87.

 

Ok I checked all 4 terminals, 30, 87, 85 and 86, all look good no breaks, female terminal ends are tight , I even flipped over relay panel box and checked

 

I want to make something clear..
The trouble tree method is the safe way they suggest and I have found sometimes the long way to home, if you get my point.
If the back up lamps come on with the key on and shift selector in reverse, that eliminates everything up to the range sw.
Anyway,,,,take that wire from the battery positive that you used to get the starter to operate and NOW touch it to that tan and red wire.
You could get 2 results , either the relay will operate and transfer power to the starter or it will not.

I( the starter operates,problem is between range sw and relay..
Almost HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

Can you do what hanky said and jump from battery positive post to the terminal 86 (TN/RD wire) from underneath the relay panel without unplugging the relay?
If you have a relay socket extension you can do that without doing from underneath the relay panel as shown below:



You can do that on terminal 87 (with relay unplugged), but terminal 86 (to energize the relay) requires your relay to be plugged in.

While you are at it, do that (with relay plugged in) on terminal 30 with jumper wire to battery positive post. But do that one at a time, when you are testing terminal 86, don't do that together at the same time to terminal 30.

 

Ok I will do these test tomorrow, had to go out of town this past weekend, will reply back on the results tomorrow

 

Ok I jumped wire from positive battery post to 86 TN/RD wire behind relay panel with relay left in and it does turn over starter, I get nothing on 30

 

You have been trying to get this car started for quite a while.

Something you can try, ,
Vehicle in park, parking brake applied, turn key on , and run that wire again from batt + to the wire that goes to the starter solenoid (term 87) as you did earlier.
If the starter operates, the engine should start. Does it ? Yes/no ?